I don't usually write long reviews, but it feels a physical impossibility for me to not write about the end of this trilogy.
The Delirium series feels like someone reached inside and found a piece of me and made it into a series of novels. The Delirium series is the series I wish I had written, the series I wish was my baby, was my life. Requiem was without doubt one of the strongest endings to a series I've read, and I don't doubt it'll remain with me for a long time.
The writing, firstly, is beautiful, and effortlessly so. You have no idea how much I wish I could write like Lauren Oliver is able to. I love you. Remember. They cannot take it/ Tear down the walls. The crafting of these sentences feels plucked straight out of my heart. It's so beautifully written that I can't help myself from scrawling the lines everywhere, breathing them, whispering them in the darkness, wishing they were mine.
The pace of Requiem was a pounding sprint. There were parts I had to pause my iPod because I physically couldn't deal with the tension and the sound of the music. I was terrified at what might happen (I actually managed to avoid all spoilers online while waiting for my copy to arrive), and the scene at the camp by the wall and Lena's battle with Luc were almost too much to sit through. I thought they were going to be captured any second.
The stakes were tremendously high. I found this book a lot more violent than I was expecting, but I didn't think that a negative thing. It just emphasized Lena's world at war, and the lengths the Cured were willing to go to to stop those in the Wilds. Looking back on Delirium, I always felt it was gorgeous and one of my favourite YA novels, but saw it as a boy-meets-girl story that would play out as they typically do. I felt Requiem - and Pandemonium - brought the series to a whole new level and can no longer consider it just another YA series. It is one of the best of recent years; easily equal to any of the best series you can offer in comparison.
I have to admit that I was disenchanted with the series after Pandemonium. I was very much a fan of Alex and Lena's relationship and the introduction of another love interest was hard for me to understand. I still don't know that I fully do understand why; for a long time I was so mad with Lena for falling in love with someone else. I couldn't understand, because it felt like she was madly in love with Alex one moment, but the first opportunity she got to love someone else, she fell in love with him, too. I saw Julian as something of a placeholder for Alex and I'm still undecided as to what Julian's role was in the series].
My frustration was Lena was something I took very personally, because I probably connected with Lena more than I have any other fictional character in my life. I related with her so much in Delirium because we shared the same thoughts and I, in her position, would have done the same things. Pandemonium broke that; why didn't she go back for Alex? She thought he was dead, but I always believed that he would have tried to find her, even if it was just her body, to bury her where she could be free. But perhaps not. Perhaps he would have deemed it safer to move on and grieve for her while trying to take back their world. That would have been his way of honouring her memory. Perhaps he would have fallen in love again some time down the line, but not for a long time.
In Requiem, my Lena was back; and had become the person I want to become. She became a leader and she fought for love and for life and did not let them take it. I fell so fiercely back in love with Lena in Requiem; she suffered so much and doubted and discovered that what she thought was love and freedom wasn't quite the truth. But it was still worth fighting for.
I'd love to think that I would fight and do anything for love. Lena, for the past three years, has been a way for me express that part of myself, where I haven't been able to. I am so sad that this series is ending, because I hold it so close my heart. The only problem I had with the book was the ending. I can partly see why it was concluded in such a way; like Lena says, the uncured choose to be as such because they trust in faith, rather than knowing what comes next. We, as readers, as surely supposed to fall in love and represent the uncured in our passions; and therefore are supposed to trust in what happens next to all the characters. Maybe it is not ours to know. But I want so desperately to. Does the world ever return to the way it should be? Those who are lost: what now? Can the relationships that were ruined be fixed? Can those who were cured but find their old selves breaking through, escape? Was Fred killed in the explosion? Where did Hana go? What happened to Lena's aunt? How will she tell Julian that she cannot be with him?
One of the scenes I wanted to see the very most was the reconciliation between Alex and Lena. The short one they got at the end of Requiem was in no way enough for me; my heart aches in knowing that I'll never know what happens next for them. They are so in love and that was so beautiful that I want to see everyday. I am Hana. I am Lena's mother. I am watching and I can feel my heart contracting because it is not mine. (He reads her poetry and they lie together under the stars for Heaven's sake, who wouldn't want that?)
Most of all I'm left with the message that this series has impressed upon me. Take down the walls. Love. That is the strongest thing we have, and the easiest thing to lose. The series taught me that there are many different kinds of love. That there is nothing you would not do for love. That love changes you, love deserts you sometimes, it makes you suffer and yet through all of it, you wouldn't take it back for the world.
Lauren Oliver has a way with words and ending a story. I am going to try and not let those words be in vain. I have put walls around myself my entire life, and I hope one day I can become as free as Lena, and as strong as the resistance.
Starting now, I am going to make a pact with you: if you will do it, I will do it, always and forever.
Take down the walls.
(All quotes copyright Lauren Oliver, 2013)
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